Good, Gifted, Lovely

"I have for the first time found what I can truly love–I have found you. You are my sympathy–my better self–my good angel–I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wrap my existence about you–and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one." -Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

I am happy.

I have a life full of love.

I want my body back.

"When you're pregnant, you can think of nothing but having your own body to yourself again, yet after having given birth you realize that the biggest part of you is now somehow external, subject to all sorts of dangers and disappearance, so you spend the rest of your life trying to figure out how to keep it close enough for comfort. That's the strange thing about being a mother: until you have a baby, you don't even realize how much you were missing one."

-Jodi Picoult, Vanishing Acts

I'm 27 weeks pregnant.

I feel large & I'm starting to waddle. I'm having issues with my sciatica nerve (thank god for chiropractors), I just blew my nose to find blood, sneezing terrifies me (LOL at the fun with these allergies), & the kicking is both an absolute joy & an absolute annoyance. 

I've never had a uti in my life, now I've had two. The most recent one saw me contemplating moving into the bathroom as the antibiotics ravaged my body, all the while, the little girl in my tummy kicking my already heaving insides. The very beginnings of parenthood already full of beauty & wonder, vomit & poop.

I can't believe I theoretically have 13 more weeks until I deliver this tiny human. I'm only going to get larger. I like finally having a baby bump, but I'm slightly anxious about how rotund I'll grow. Bellies at 40 weeks cease looking cute & just look obscene. 

For someone who doesn't like working out really, I cannot wait to actually be able to run again, to exert myself to the limit physically, to heave out of breath without worrying about the forming fetus sharing my body. Little tenet, I can't wait to evict you!

Mother Bear

"I shall not change my course because those who assume to be better than I desire it."

- Victoria Claflin Woodhull

My feminism is a burning fire in my heart. With my daughter taking shape in my body, it only burns brighter. 

I will shout from the rooftops & force you to eat your inequality before I let you get to her. I will make this world better for her. She will be raised knowing she is worth neither more nor less than any person simply because of her gender. She will know her body is her own; she controls what is to happen with it. No one owns my daughter.

We will support Planned Parenthood. We will support all causes fighting to save lives, promoting diversity, demanding equality. 

My voice is not the loudest one, but it will be a deafening roar to protect her & her future.

Lessons in Letting Go

"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it."

-Ann Landers

I knew it'd be hard to say goodbye to Sam & Davy but I hadn't anticipated it being this difficult. I have two little kitten-sized holes in my heart now. They were our first fosters & we nursed them back to health. It was amazing to see their recovery.

It's such a special, precious gift to teach them love & joy. People are cruel & neglectful to animals, a behavior, a lack of compassion beyond my comprehension so we save these babies & shower them in love & care, teaching them there is good in this world.

We had to let them go so they could show off what they learned & bring joy to another's life. We had to let them go so we could save more lives. 

Fostering is an exercise in love, a grinch-like expanding of your heart, growing larger than you thought possible. Despite the sorrow of farewell, I know there will be more hellos, more little ones to rescue. I have to keep this empty spot in my heart & my home to welcome them.

Thanks to Rescued Pets Movement for this opportunity & the life-saving journeys.

I learn to let go.

Trying New Things: XOVoxBox

"The best things in life are free. The second best things are very, very expensive."

-Coco Chanel

I recently received my first VoxBox! I AM SUPER OBSESSED. I freaking love free stuff so when Tiffany recommended this to me, I had to jump on board. I signed up last fall but with the hub-bub of the wedding going on, I forgot about it. But no longer. FREE. STUFF. Seriously, look at all that shit. I'm pretty obsessed with the John Frieda Beach Blonde Collection (hello, blonde-beach lover here) & the Colgate Optic White products appeal to my dental vanity.

I love the Tide Pods because they're a product I'd normally never purchase myself so I'm excited to try them out. 

Everyone. Sign up for Influenster. Get free shit.

Touching the Sun

"Everyone forgets Icarus also flew." 

-Jack Gilbert

My life is a shearing away of the unessential me, the delving deeply into the core of my being & sloughing off the behaviors & speeches which don't coincide to the fundamental Christine. I've lost so many friends over the course of my life, some more jarringly than others, through faults of theirs, through faults of mine, through the passage of time, & going forward, all I can do is remain true to myself & what I identify with as a life worth living.

I might crash in my folly to reach the sun, but I will come closer than any of these earth-bound cowards.